Last night was a really slow Friday night. As of 11:30 here were still only a few people in the club, but I swear every single one of them was...interesting? I had too many stories & quotes to come up with a single title. Here's a preview: there was foot fetish guy, inappropriate touching guy, midget in a kilt guy, & male stripper guy...
Oh yeah, here's a bitchy text I got from a girl I work with at my other job:
"I have a bright future while you are already on your way of being a slut and striping for ugly ass old men your whole life".
First of all, I don't know what it means to be "on your way of." It's also unclear what "striping" is. my response? Learn how to spell, stripper is spelled with two p's.
"I like feet."
Two words: foot fetish. I hadn't had a dance yet nor had I had any luck getting anyone to buy a VIP wristband for private dances. So when I saw a guy with a wristband sitting alone, who I was sure was not in the middle of talking to any other girls (I try not to step on any toes), I went over & sat with him. We did the generic small talk thing for about a minute before he asked me for a dance. Delighted, I obliged (duh), but then came the surprise...I'm not much of a tits man, but I really like feet. Does that freak you out? I used the best cheery-yet-non-judgmental-yet-sexy voice I could muster and told him that of course it didn't freak me out. It was half way through a song so I went ahead & led him back to VIP. Typically, when you take a customer back part of the way through a song, you just sit together & flirt or whatever until the next song starts, so he doesn't pay full price for half a song. So we sit down next to each other & I take off my shoes & drape my legs over his, which is pretty normal. Remembering that he's a foot guy I took one foot & just started rubbing it along his inner thigh, eventually with the other foot following. No big deal, I thought, I can rub my feet on this dude for a couple minutes. Well, when the next song started I asked him what he wanted, not knowing if he wanted a normal lap dance or what, since he's not a tits man. He told me he really likes to give foot massages and would love it if I could rub my foot on his crotch. so he massaged one foot while the other one rubbed on his dick. This went on for the whole song. At the end he said "so that was 2 dances (if that's what you want to call it), $40 right?" Awwweesoommmmmmmmeeee...
So basically, I got paid to rub my feet on a dude & get a foot massage for no more than 7-8 minutes, and he paid me $40 for it.
"You like Asian man?"
This, my friends, is inappropriate touching guy. A group of 3 or 4 guys came in (Asians, if it matters & if you hadn't guessed from the quote above) & nobody had talked to them yet so I went over and sat down. They were all around my age & in college. I was talking to one guy who seemed very interested in getting a private dance. He got a wristband within a few minutes and I didn't even have to sell him on it. I was wearing a two-piece outfit with a thong on underneath the (less revealing) bottoms. Obviously I took of my top when we got to VIP but I waited on the bottoms, planning on turning around mid-song to show off my ass as I took them off. Turns out that I didn't need to get halfway through the first song to realize this guy was super touchy. He didn't ask so I decided to keep the extra layer on. Besides, he was more focused on my tits than my ass. First of all, he kept biting my nipples, which was kind of annoying but it also really turns me on, & even though it's against the rules I usually let it slide as long as it's gentle. Every once in a while I would just pull away & lift myself up, shaking my crotch in his face (which my long legs let me do). After two songs he asked how much he owed me so far & I told him..."$40 already?" He said. Uh, yeah motherfucker.
We took a break after the 2nd song & one of the girls I'm friends with was sitting in the seat across from us also taking a break with the guy she was with. We were talking to each other more that we were our customers. She has really small boobs (A cup) & she was telling me that she loooves mine (34B). I was shaking them around & playing with them. She asked me if she could touch him & I was like yeah, of course (hello, I'm half naked in a strip club!). She came over & gave them a good squeeze & a delighted squeal. "They almost feel fake!!!" Hahahah...that cracked my shit up.
Okay, back to the customer. In the brief period that I actually talked to him during our break song he kept asking me if I liked Asian guys, would I ever date an Asian guy, do I like to hang out with Asian guys, etc. It was weird but whatever. I complimented him & told him he was very, very sexy. (Because when in character I am a fucking liar). Anyway, so during the second song his attention moves from my breasts downward. He went for a touch on the outside of my silver and red striped bottoms. I quickly grabbed his hand and put it on my ass (where it's allowed to be), slyly smiled, and shook my head no. Technically I guess he wasn't breaking any rules, which basically say a guy can't put his hand inside your panties, but it still wasn't going to fly. Not 30 seconds later & this guy goes in for another feel down there...only this time his hand slipped inside. Luckily, it only breached one layer & the thong underneath was blocking him from from my lucky charms. Even more quickly than the last time I grabbed his wrist as tight as I could, and as aggressively as I could I forced his hand to the side, grabbed his other wrist, stopped grinding, and said with a totally serious/straight face, "Don't fucking do that again."
Needless to say, he didn't buy another dance. Asshole. Later another girl stormed out of VIP mid-song because he tried to pull the same shit with her & I guess kept trying after she said no the first time. At the end of the night our manager on duty duty declared to all dancers that "this is not a whore house." She was referring to inappropriate touching do you like asians guy.
The male stripper returns
In one of my first posts I talked about having a shitty night & making no money, but meeting a really hot guy who happened to be a male stripper. I like him so much (he's my age, same school, funny, hot etc.) that I gave him my number. He never called. Last night Mr. Jack Hammer (stage name hahahah) himself turns up at the club. It didn't click exactly who he was at first, but I definitely recognized him. He was sitting on the opposite side of the room when the waitress came over to tell him he requested me specifically. I wrapped up my convo with the guy I was sitting with who I was pretty sure wasn't going to spend money & headed over there. But by the time I got to where he was sitting he was gone. The waitress told me she saw him heading towards the restroom, so I just sat down. When he returned he had a huge grin on his face. He apologized for never calling me before & told me that there were only 9 numbers in my phone number and that he felt like an idiot. I forgave him, he bought me a drink, & all was well. At the end of the night I gave him my phone number again & this time it actually worked. He wants to hang out, but even better he wants me & a group of friends to watch him & his other male stripper friend perform so we can critique them. Hmm...I think we might be able to work something out.
All in all, last night wasn't a great night for money. But there were plenty of interesting characters and, as you know (if you made it this far), lots of crazy stories. I guess that's okay.
Money made after tip out: $117
Executive Strippers is the place to find and hire the hottest male and female exotic dancers for your next party or other social event. The girls and guys are trained in the art of showing everyone in the room a good time — no matter what the party or occasion is.
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